Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Vacation

Dieting while on vacation is hard! 


I spent last week in Chicago with  my family for a reunion. It was hard to eat healthy up there. The reunion was catered and there wasn't a whole lot of healthy anything. Also, since we were 12 hours from home, we did a lot of eating out while we stayed up there. I did go to the gym in the mornings, but I only did a quick 25-30 minute cardio work out when I went. The car ride there and back was hard too. Finding healthy food at a convenient store/gas station is about as easy as finding a sane person at a Tea Party convention.


Since I've been back I've been eating a little more healthy. I've been working out a little more too. I met my weight goal last week, but I had to work my butt off to do it, since I ate so poorly while I was on vacation.


This weekend, my friends are coming up to visit. I'm a little worried, because being 20 somethings, we like to drink when we go out. Alcohol does NOT help with weight loss. I don't want to throw myself off, but at the same time, I don't want to be the party pooper. Why is it that the fun things and the things that taste good are all so bad for you? 


Also, I'm going to Dallas this weekend for a visit to Six Flags. Again, vacations and diets don't go well together. However, we've picked a hotel with a gym and swimming pool, so maybe I'll be able to work out some. I'm also thinking that maybe being out in the sun all day at Six Flags will help make up for the bad food choices that I'm sure I'll make. Does Six Flags have salads?


I've set up and appointment with a personal trainer on Tuesday. I am having some trouble pushing myself on my work outs, and I'm not exactly sure what I should be doing when I work out. I've heard some folks say that muscle weighs more than fat, so you don't want to build muscle when you're trying to lose weight. BUT... I know that muscle is a fat burner. Muscle requires approximately 25% more energy than fat does, therefore, it burns 25% more fat than fat cells. The more muscle you have, the more fat you burn. This is why men burn fat more quickly than women. Another thing I'm worried about is getting flabby. I know that if I lose weight without doing some kind of weight lifting or toning, I'm going to have a bunch of loose skin. Gross. So I figure, if I get a trainer, he'll be able to help me out and keep me on the right path. 

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Staying On the Right Path

This week has been tough. From being physically hungry, to the work outs, to the emotions (sometimes I hate being a girl), to my work schedule... this week has been exhausting.


It's hard staying motivated to do the right things, eat the right things, exercise, get enough sleep when it is so much easier to grab some fast food and sit on the couch. The thing that keeps me going is knowing how much better I feel during and after exercise. I've also noticed lately, that the foods I eat affect my emotions. 


I gave myself a treat the other day as a reward for having done so well the past few weeks. I got called in to work to do a transfer to Dallas. While in Dallas, my partner and I stopped at Denny's. I had been craving nachos for some reason, so I got some chicken nachos. They were absolutely delicious. But after eating them, I could actually tell a difference in how I felt. This was a first for me. I've never noticed before what kind of impact food as on my emotions or energy level. From now on, I think if I treat myself, I will treat myself to something a tad more healthy. 

I haven't felt like I have been getting quite enough exercise lately. Since scaling back my walks from 5 miles to only 1.5 miles, I have felt like I should be doing more. I've tried push ups and sit ups, but I can't do very many of those before I reach muscle fatigue. Last night I went to the gym and spent about 3 hours there. First I did the bike where you are actually in a chair with your hands to your side and the pedals are out in front of you. This part was easy. I did 35 minutes without a lot of trouble. Next I did 45 minutes on the treadmill. This part was a little tougher. I wanted to stop so bad! My legs were burning, sweat was pouring, I was hot, I was thirsty (forgot my water bottle), and I was tired. I set a goal though, and I knew I had to stick to it. I pushed through that 45 minutes and moved on. My next exercise was the actual bike. You know, the kind with the seat that is uncomfortable no matter how you sit... ughhh. I was tired from the first two exercises, but again, I knew I had set a goal and I had to reach it. 30 minutes on this bike and I was done. 


In between my cardio exercises, I sucked down some water from the fountain. I did some pretty light weight lifting - just toning my arms so that they won't be flabby. I also tried to do some assisted chin ups and dips. I'm not there yet. It was ridiculously hard. I did 5 assisted chin ups and 10 assisted dips. I didn't try any more after those because my arms felt like jello. 


Tonight after I walk my dog, I plan to go back to the gym for some more cardio. I felt great when I was done last night! This time I won't forget my water bottle.


My air conditioning in my apartment has decided to stop blowing cold air for some reason. It's 85 degrees in here right now... it's only 82 outside. Thank god for the rain we got yesterday that cooled things off. I'm not sure I would survive if my air stopped working on a day it was 105 outside!

Friday, July 6, 2012

Getting Started

For the past two weeks, I've been working hard at losing weight. 

I went to a doctor who placed me on Adipex, which makes losing weight not as impossible as it usually feels. Instead of constantly thinking about food or eating my emotions, I'm eating only when I'm hungry. I've also been making healthier decisions when I eat. Instead of fatty fried foods, I've been eating more fruits and vegetables. 

For the first week, I walked 2.5 miles every morning. For the second week, I started trying to walk 5 miles in the mornings. After 2 days of this, I had hurt my right foot and left ankle. The third day, I decided to swim instead of walking to give my feet a chance to heal. The third day, I was back at it, but only walked 2.5 miles. I was walking my dog in with my workout walks, so that he could get a workout too. I felt like I was over doing it because my dog was having trouble keeping up, and he was limping and having trouble getting into the truck after the walks. I decided to scale it back some because I don't want to hurt him. 


So this morning we only did 1.5 miles. It wasn't as long of a walk, but we did do it at a fairly brisk pace. This seemed to work better for him. I felt better at the end of the walk knowing that he wasn't hurting. Since I've decided to scale back the walks, I need to step up my other workouts.


I haven't worked very hard on my sit ups, crunches, or push ups. I will start changing that. I need to go by the gym after my walks to work on my upper body strength and abdomen. I don't want to lose a bunch of weight and end up with loose flabby skin.


In the morning, I plan to do my walk at the park with my dog. Amber is going to come by the house to exchange a few items that she left behind for a few things of mine that she took. If I have time after that, I will go to the gym. I still have to have time to do laundry and go to work tomorrow night. 


Tomorrow is my family's BBQ/Fourth of July celebration/ Family Reunion. I'm kind of upset that I'm having to miss it to work. I could really use being around my family right now. I've been lonely and emotional since Amber has left. Weight loss is hard when I'm not emotional, but when I am, it's even harder. 


I just have to keep reminding myself what I'm doing this for!

Thursday, July 5, 2012

My Motivation

For several years, I've had the dream of becoming a United States Marine. For my entire life, I've had the dream of getting fit. 


I've had problems with yo-yo weight loss and weight gain since childhood. I have always been heavier than other people my age, for as far back as I can remember. Thoughts of losing weight plagued me throughout elementary school and followed me on into high school. When I got to college, I was a member of the Razorback Marching Band. Band put my activity level through the roof. I also decided at that point that I would make healthier eating decisions (smaller serving sizes, healthier foods, and no seconds). I lost a good deal of weight during my freshman year of college, but soon gained it back over the summer and my sophomore year.


I came home from college after only two years. I weighed a whopping 299 pounds, and decided that I had to do something fast. Having several thousand dollars in student loans and no real direction in life, I started toying with the idea of joining the military. Not only would it help me achieve my fitness goals, but it would help with my student loans, and give me a direction in life. I soon found out that to even get in to the military, you have to be in relatively good shape. 


The idea of joining the military was something completely new to me. I thought National Guard would be a good idea because it would give me military benefits without all the work and commitment. I talked to a National Guard recruiter who was less than helpful. He was lazy, not in the best of shape, and did not hold commitments. I didn't want to be like that. If I was going to have a military career, I wanted an honorable military career. I instead looked to Army and Army Reserves. After talking to a recruiter, I found out my weight and PT requirements, and decided that I wanted to join the Army as active duty.


I spent the next year working hard to lose weight. I joined an EMT class so that I would have a job. I was 20 years old at this time, and soon found out that I could not work full-time as an EMT at age 20 because of insurance and driving issues. I continued my education by joining a year long paramedic course. During paramedic school, I continued to work hard at my weight loss goals. I was 245 pounds when I began the paramedic program.  


While in school and looking into military options, I received a phone call from a guy I went to school with. He told me that he was a Marine Corps poolee, and spent almost an hour on the phone with me telling me about the differences between Army and Marine Corps. I spoke with a Marine Corps recruiter, who was willing to work with me and help me to meet my fitness goals. After our first work out, he was somewhat disappointed in me. I was fat, I couldn't run very well, and I was wondering what in the world I had gotten myself into. I started working full time as an EMT at a casino shortly after, and was no longer able to meet the recruiter on the day he had free to work with me. I started working more myself, but all in all, I didn't lose much more weight.


Toward the end of paramedic school, I met a girl who was in the Army's delayed entry program. We started working out together and soon became started dating. We attended delayed entry program functions together, although I was not yet in the program. Her recruiter worked a lot with us and we worked a lot with each other. This gave me hope and I decided that maybe the Army was for me. We ran daily, went to the gym often, and had a lot of physical activities in our relationship. I lost a bit more weight and was not far from my goal weight/body fat percentage to join the Army. I was down to 210 pounds. 


After I finished paramedic school, I took a little while off work to spend more time with my girlfriend before she shipped to BCT. We spent this time working out and getting in shape. After she shipped to BCT, I continued working on my weight loss goals, got down to 205 pounds, but decided that I wanted to put my paramedic degree to use in the civilian world before joining the Army. This was a big mistake. It was so, so hard for me to lose weight or even maintain my weight while working on an ambulance. My girlfriend and I had a messy break up, which lead to more weight gain. My military dreams were slipping away quickly. 


I watched as my ex girlfriend came home from BCT. I watched my cousin, who had started at the same weight as me, become a Marine. The more I learned about the Marine Corps, the more I wanted to join. I spent the next year dreaming of becoming a Marine, and instead becoming a fat couch potato. I entered into another relationship, which did nothing to help my weight loss. In fact, I began gaining even more weight! 


For a year, my girlfriend and I lived together and my weight ballooned out of control. I wanted to become a Marine, but just couldn't find the motivation. It played a big part in my relationship, as I was unhappy with my body image. 


Two weeks ago today, my girlfriend moved out of our shared apartment while I was at work. She sent me a text message telling me what she had done, and then told me that I had made her miserable, and that she couldn't be with me anymore. It broke my heart. I spent the first day or two crying and absolutely miserable. With my relationship out of the picture, I'm left again with no clear direction in life. Where do I go from here? The only way out is up...


I've decided to use this break up as motivation to finally meet my goals. I want to lose weight, I want a level of fitness I can be proud of, and I want to serve my country with an honorable military career. If I'm ever going to be happy with myself, I have to accomplish these goals. I am never going to be happy with myself unless I can prove to myself that I can get this accomplished. 


For the last two weeks, I've done a completely 180 degree turn around from where I was. My eating is different, my activity level is different, and my determination level is definitely different. I will accomplish my goals this time. Nothing will get in my way.